About these ads

What matters in the world of popular music.

Jesus-loving, flag-waving jingoistic country hits all-time low with Thomas Rhett’s crass single “Beer With Jesus”

I thought I’d heard it all, until I hit play on “Beer With Jesus,” the crass new “let’s get the bible-belt listener” single by Thomas Rhett. For all the strides country music has made into the mainstream to evolve into lowest common denominator pandering such as this leaves me shaking my head in disappointment:

If I could have a beer with Jesus
Heaven knows I’d sip it nice and slow
I’d try to pick a place that ain’t too crowded
I’d gladly go wherever he wants to go
You can bet I’d order up a couple tall ones
And tell the waitress to put ‘em on my tab
I’d be sure to let him do the talkin
And careful when I got the chance to ask
Tell me how’d you turn the other cheek?
To save a sorry soul like me?
Do you hear the prayers I send
And what happens when life ends
And when you think you’re coming back again?
I’d tell everyone but no one would believe it
If I could have a beer with Jesus

The song says nothing of note except that Mr. Rhett wants to drink all night with Christ his savoir, making sure he buys plenty of good beer and plays all the best jukebox jams for the Lord while they have their private conversation — “and don’t forget, Jesus, to tell your daddy God I said hi!”

I thought it would take years to top the lame pandering of the chorus to “Chicken Fried” by the Zac Brown Band, which manages to proudly give shout-outs to God, the stars and stripes, freedom, soldiers, chicken-fried steak, beer, tight-fitting jeans, radio love, sunrises, children and his woman all in about forty seconds. But I think “Beer With Jesus” now safely takes the cake.

You’ve been warned …

About these ads

4 responses

  1. Lol!

    January 21, 2013 at 6:09 AM

    • Wow, I left you practically speechless ;)

      January 21, 2013 at 3:32 PM

  2. Anonymous

    Jesus Christ, yeah, those be some baaad lyrics. Maybe the original lyric was a jokey “have a beer with Cheez-Its” and he changed it last second when he realized the record was due. Yeesh.

    January 21, 2013 at 10:53 PM

    • Better than any theory I came up with … I told a woman at work about the song, and she said Jesus wouldn’t like a beer, “because he was more into wine.” I cracked up ;)

      January 22, 2013 at 12:09 AM

Join the "Hear! Hear!" conversation!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s